Forengast

... dem Internet sei Dank, konnte ich eben mal wieder so richtig ablachen...


The Top 15 Signs Your TV Weatherperson Needs a Vacation

15> Habitually refers to outlying rural communities as "East B.F. Egypt, if you know what I mean."
14> "3D Doppler Radar" replaced by "3D Virtual Valerie."
13> "Today's forecast: crap. But the Canary Islands have great weather in the spring -- let's go to that map."
12> Last night's report included "A turgid, pulsating jet stream penetrating deep into a warm, moist, aching heartland."
11> "Well, this cold front will be moving right along... AS SOON AS MY EX-WIFE LEAVES TOWN!"
10> Standard weather map replaced by a Risk board with fighter planes and tanks, and he spends the entire segment making explosion and machine gun noises.
9> "I predict a giant fire right here, on my mother-in-law's condo."
8> Illustrates forthcoming snowstorm by shaking his dandruff over the East Coast.
7> "We got a twister rippin' up Texas, an' it's a mean sumbitch! Evacuate the trailer parks! Houston, you have a problem!"
6> Prefaces all reports with "And in another act of a Vengeful God..."
5> Current weather report consists of "Look out the friggin' window, ya lazy bastards."
4> Keeps hurling lightning bolts at the rest of the news team.
3> It looks like he's had a "brief downpour" in his pants again.
2> Starts doing "shout-outs" to his "fly-girls" in various microclimate locales.

and the Number 1 Sign Your TV Weatherperson Needs a Vacation...

1> "Live WeatherCam" really just video highlights of his recent colonoscopy.


Baby, I can warm you up ´cause I´m your
...WEATHERMAN...

Aurora, übermütig :cool: