GefallenerEngel

Tür 15

Kategorie: YOU MIGHT BE A GAMER IF...

...loosing your dice bag would be a serious financial blow.
...you could paper you bathroom in character sheets.
...you could paper your bathroom in different versions of just ONE character.
...you are unable to walk past the latest TSR supplement without leafing through it, even though you know it's going to be bad.
...you have more entertaining "No-shit,-there-I-was-in-a-game" stories than you do anecdotes about your family.
...you talk about your characters as if they are real people.
...you alternate between referring to your characters in the first and the third person.
... and none of your friends gets confused.
...you've ever spent a significant fraction of your life modifying game rules that you didn't like... and, as soon as the system worked to your satisfaction, discarded it.
...when someone says "The blue books," you don't automatically picture the kind that they give you during a college final exam.
...you worship idols of Gary Gygax in your basement.
...you burn Gary Gygax in effigy in your back yard.
...you will not buy comic books with the Dragon Strike (tm) logo on the back.
...you've ever seen the old AD&D tv series.
...you're still reading this list.
...you hang out with people you actively dislike because they give good role- play.
...you've ever gotten into a screaming match over something that happened in a game... (You are so dead! I am not dead!)
...you've ever neglected to buy the new edition of your favourite game because you already have three.
...you have more than one photocopied bootleg of a gaming text.
...you keep old characters around just in case someone might run that system again. (Never mind that its TS: SI)
...You knew what I meant when I said TS:SI.
...you have a PhD in manipulating point systems to the best effect, even though you failed high school geometry.
..you can consume your body weight in junk food in one gaming session.
...you consider Altoids, Salt-&-Vinegar chips, and blue Teeni Hugs a balanced diet. (or even an acceptable combination.)
...you have been known to drive to far away places where you paid enormous amounts of money for the privelege of sleeping on floors, eating crap, buying little pewter statues of Gandalf, and meeting dozens of psychopathic members of the alternate (or similar) sex who will follow you around for months, merely for the pleasure of playing with gamers you don't know.
...and then signed up en masse with all of you friends to play in games with game masters who you've known since high school.
...you own your own weight in gaming books.
...the owners of local hobby stores take your checks without ID because they know where you live.
...you can do AD&D money conversions in your head.
...you could wallpaper you bedroom in Dragon Mirths (tm).
...you consider the demise of "What's New With Phil & Dixie" a blow to great literature.
...you consider the resurrection of "What's New With Phis & Dixie" the redeeming feature of Magic: The Gathering.
...you consider the 20th century a state of mind.
...you have a random NPC generator, written in BASIC, designed to run on the Trash-80 or the Commodore 64.
...you've ever designed your own character sheets.
...you can be more that three NPCs at the same time without generating more than reasonable confusion in your players.
...you have ever played a Dwarven character who did not have "axe" or "beard" ANYWHERE in his or her name.
...you know how to sex dwarves. (chromosome typing- required a blood sample. I'M not getting it...)
...you've ever tried to explain gaming to a school counselor, parent, or other PW/OC (Person With/Out Clue).
...you've suceeded.
...you've played Talisman more than once.
...you've finished a game of Talisman.
...more than once.
...you're STILL reading this list.
...you can quote extensively from the Wandering Damage Tables.
...you've mistaken a d12 or a double d10 for a d20 while playing AD&D and had a THAC0 low enough to hit the 8HD monster, anyway...
...you understood that.

Toff

I understood that!
also ob man in einen Spiegel schaut...
ROFL

loon

hey, wo bleibt mein türchen?


loon

xtine

Heeey!

Es ist noch nicht Weihnachten, Engel!

Du wirst uns doch nicht vorzeitig verlassen?!

:heulen:

GefallenerEngel

So Leute, gestern habe ich es überhaupt nicht geschafft, weil mich andere Dinge einfach vom Netz fernhielten.

Deshalb heute doppelte Ladung:

Tür 16

Kategorie: Overlord Bill

Recently one of my friends, acomputer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were talking I mentiioned that I had recently installed Windows 98 on my PC. I told him how happy I was with this operating system and showed him the Windows 98 CD. To my surprise he threw it into the microwave oven and turned on the oven. Instantly I got very upset, because the CD had become precious to me, but he said, "Don´t worry, it is unharmed." After a few minutes he took the CD out, gave it to me and said,, "Take a close look at it." To my surprise the CD was quite cold to hold and it seemed to be heavier than before. At first I could not see anything, but on the inner edge of the central hole I saw an inscription, an inscription finer than anything I have ever seen before. The inscription shone piercingly bright, and yet remote, as if out of a great depth.

12413AEB2ED4FA5E6F7D78E78BEDE8209450920F923A40EE10E510CC98D444AA08E132 4

"I cannot understand the fiery letters," I said. "No, but I can," he replied. "The letters are Hex, of an ancient mode., but the language is that of Microsoft, which I shall not utter here. But in common English this it was it says,"

One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them,
One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the land of Redmond where the shadows lie

GefallenerEngel

Tür 17

Kategorie: You might be a Redneck Jedi if...

* You´ve heard the phrase, "May the force be with ya´ll."

* Your Jedi robe is camo color.

* You´ve opened a can of beans with a light saber

* You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

* You have Bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder

* You lost a hand in a light saber fight because you had to spit

* You think the worst part of spending time in Dagobah is the dagdum skeeters

* Wookies are offended by your BO

* When Deathstars 1 and 2 were destroyed you shouted, "That blowed up real good!"

* You ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you wouldn´t have to wait for the commercial

* You ever used the force in conjunction with fishing and/or bowling

* Your father has ever said, "Shoot son, come over to the dark side. It´ll be a hoot!"

* You have ever had your R-2 unit use it´s self-destruct to light the barbeque

* You have the confederate flag painted on the hood of your landspeeder

* If you ever thought Han Solo would look better in a flannel cause he looks like a little sissy in that vest

* You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts

* You have the doors on your X-wing welded shut and you get in through the window.

* Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women

* You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca

* You´ve referred to Darth Vader´s evil empire as, "those damn Yankees"

* You´ve fell in love with your sister

* You were the only one drinking Jack Daniels on the rock during the Cantina scene on Mos Eisley

* In your opinion, that Darth Vader fellow "just ain´t right"

* You´ve told a Wookie, "Your purdy."

GefallenerEngel

Tür 18

Kategorie: Dog Property Laws

1. If I like it, it´s mine

2. If it´s in my mouth, it´s mine

3. If I can take it from you, it´s mine

4. If I had it a little while ago, it´s mine

5. If it´s mine, it must never appear to be yours in anyway

6. If I´m chewing spomething up, all the pieces are mine

7. If it just looks like mine, it´s mine

8. If I saw it first, it´s mine

9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine

10. If it´s broken, it´s yours

11. A growl beats "I call dibs" everytime

GefallenerEngel

Tür 19

Kategorie: You might be a Redneck Elf if

1. You bought your sword at K-Mart
2. You notch your ear for every dwarf you’ve taken down
3. You sword has the word "craftsman" on it.
4. The only ranger you know is made by Ford
5. You live in a double wide tree house
6. The porch of your tree house collapses and you kill more than 4 cooshee
7. You know every animal in the forest... literally
8. You lyre is a banjo
9. You’ve ever played "dueling lyres"
10. Orcs are afraid to walk be your house
11. You ever said. "Squeal like a hydra, fat boy!"
12. Your version of a fireball involves a lighter and no pants
13. You have a velvet painting of Elric
14. Your elven boots are blue suede
15. Your coin pouch in on a chain and your cooshee isn’t
16. You ever told a Hobbit, "you’ve got a pretty mouth."
17. Your mana is grits
18. You know more that 3 ways to roast a unicorn
19. You ever fully executed the pull my wand joke
20. You were in a crossbow wedding
21. Your crossbow is a 12-gauge
22. You by grog in 12 packs
23. Your answer to, "How do you keep orcs out of your yard?" is "Hang one in the front."
24. You’ve ever gone Balrog tipping
25. There’s a sign on your window that says, "If this tree’s a rocking don’t come a knocking."
26. Goblins say your messy and you smell bad
27. You’ve ever mowed your lawn and found a Dragon horde
28. Your ceremonial robes are polyester
29. Your place of worship has a spittoon and a two drink minimum

GefallenerEngel

Tür 20

Kategorie: You might be a gamer, if...

...you carry AD&D insurance.

...your AC is so low that even you can't hit yourself.

...an 87 point Balrog is no big thrill anymore.

... you bring your dicebag even to diceless roleplaying events.

...you've ever discovered, after gaming with your significant other, that you like their character better than you do them.

...you have friends or acquaintances who regularly refer to you as "Og." (Or something similar.)

...you've ceased responding to your birth name.

...you spend more money on dice than on food.

...you sometimes forget what century this is.

...your first response to any frustrating situation is, "I bash it with my axe."

...you know a lot of gaming jokes that used to be funny once.

...your friend(s) who does not game feels very left out of all of your conversations.

...you have more gaming books than the local hobby store.

...you've discovered that spare dice make good beanbag filler.

...you knew that that last question was a ringer: who has more dice than they can use?

... you have a copy of "Dark Dungeons" kicking around somewhere because a: you thought it was funny b: your parents got concerned that you were living in a fantasy realm.

...you're sort of dissapointed that you haven't reached the level where they start teaching you the real spells (as described in the above "Dark Dungeons" pamphlet) yet: You're sure you must be a high enough level.

...you've been gaming for more than half of your life.

...you still laugh when someone says "Hey, Dave, I think the barbarian in the corner wants another beer."

...the phrase "Collect Call of Cthulhu" brings back fond memories.

...you can quote the whole "Trolls! Mutants! Trolls! Mutants!" strip from "what's New With Phil & Dixie."

...you knew a female gamer once.

...you were a female gamer once.

...you tend to play characters as different from you in race, religion, sex, sexual orientation, and what have you as possible, just to confuse your
friends.

...(For New Englanders only) You were able to find stuff at "Flock, Stock, and Barrel."

...you've been known to have in-depth conversations about the relative merits of Champions, V&V, Marvel, and DC heroes... ignoring the fact
that all superhero systems are intrinsically sucky.

...you like one of the above systems enough that you yelped when I called them all, "sucky."

...you've thought of four or five additions to this list.

...you actually bought TSR's "Dungeoneer's Survival Guide" when it first came out.

...you've ever tried to discover the strengths and weaknesses of a haemophiliac werewolf.

...someone is attempting to explain the floorplan of a building to you and you immediately start thinking in terms of 10X10 squares.

...or 6'x6' hexes.

...your first though upon walking into a friend's domicile is to reflect on where you'd put the machine-gun nest.

..you and your friends have spent a screening of "The Crow" assigning vampire clans to the various characters.

..you actually wear that little ankh that comes in the Vampire Live-Action box...in everyday life.

..you've ever gotten wierd looks from other customers at places like Denny's or IHOP because of the nature of your conversations.

..a friend of yours screws something up and you respond with, "looks like you failed your _________ roll."

..you've actually paid to have custom fangs made.

..you wear these fangs in everyday life (not to mention Renaissance festivals).

..you've ever argued against a combat rule based on your experience in the SCA/Military/Police, etc.

..you have a dozen things in mind for when you come across a magic lamp.

GefallenerEngel

Tür 21

Kategorie: Famous last words

001-"Let's go in."
002-"Let's not go in."
003-"I follow them."
004-"I stab the dragon and tell it to get off me."
005-"I drink the bottle marked POISON on the off-chance that it's the extra-healing potion."
006-"I kill it."
007-"Let me handle this."
008-"Whaddya mean, a pentagram only has FIVE sides?"
009-"What a useless scroll. It just says, HASTUR HASTUR HASTUR over and over again..."
010-"Click?? ...This doesn't come with ammo?"
011-"Why is your torch flame turning blue?"
012-"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH"
013-"Trust me."
014-"I never get lost."
015-(A corridor ahead is full of brown mold) "I cast Fireball down the hall, then send my fire elemental to investigate."
016-"Dammit, this thing won't die!"
017-a)"I bet without Mjolnir you're a real wuss."
b)"He looks like a wuss to me."
018-"He hit me for HOW MUCH?????"
019-"They're only kobolds!"
020-"Hey, this chest just bit me!"
021-"I try to move silently in plate armor..."
022-"I didn't find any traps !!"
023-"Wonder what this button does ?"
024-"Don't worry, he is probably just first level."
025-"This 250' wall has so many holes, it should be easy to climb."
026-"I'll just close my eyes and walk up to the dracolisk holding up my mirror"
027-"Can I eat this green slime?"
028-"I'll just walk up to the dragon invisibly"
029-"Why is this man speaking in sign language?"
030-"This type of undead can't drain levels"
031-"I'll open the door, sneak up on him from behind and backstab him!"
032-"We are in luck! The dragon is sleeping"
033-"That's only a statue"
034-"There is no trap on the door, so let's open it"
035-"Look, behind you!!!" Said by a gnome(pc) to an ogre as a disliked partymember crept up. End of the other member.
036-"I have this dungeon at home, I know where everything is!"
037-"Don't worry, the DM won't hose me"
038-"We'll untie the prisoners and lock them in the closet."
039-"Why can't we take Clarissa (Disguised evil high priestess) with us?"
040-"How much will you give me for this idol I found (cursed)?"
041-"I'm not powerful enough, can't you just give me second level."
042-"Don't I get the farie fire bonus on my parry."
043-Star Wars:"Stormtroopers can't hit a Wampa at this dist..."
044-Traveller:"Who took the battery out of my grav belt?"
045-"They're wearing blue robes? They must be Druids. Roll for initiative, suckers." (At which point the polymorphed Bone Devils ate him.)
046-"I see HOW MANY wights?!" (from the crypts of Ravenloft)
047-"Don't worry, wyvern don't attack unless they're provoked."
048-"You watch the door, I'll take out the Gas Spore (Beholder) that's guarding the treasure."
049-"A Nightmare, huh? I'll attack for one round and prepare to run."
050-"I'll take off my armor so I'm silent and slip past the dragon."
051-"They need a twenty to hit me, I'm invincible"
052-"Don't worry sir, we can handle it."
053-"I bet that without Mjolnir you're a real wimp."
054-NPC: "Lets drop our weapons and talk."
PC : "Okay!"
055-"We killed all monsters on this level."